Unexpected Events

A few days after my last post, I got a call from my sister Catherine. I got onto a video call with my siblings, where Catherine let us know her cancer was back.  Everything from that call was a whirlwind. 

Fly to California. PET scan. Treatment. Flew home. Catherine got worse. Treatment was ineffective. Fly back to CA to meet my sisters to care for Catherine on her deathbed. She passed away- I was there my sister's,  Mom, and Lexie, Catherine's daughter. 

A month later,  I flew back with Curtis to CA for her service and we came home with a 15 year old Lexie, full of anger and resentment. We have spent the last 3 years navigating parenthood and raising Lex to adulthood. We put everything on hold to guide her. 

*

Fast forward to today. Lexie graduated high school, has a job and starts college in January.

In 2021, we lost so much. My dad passed in January. Catherine cancer in April. We dealt with that all through September. Then Tyrus Gmail passed away. Then Catherine passed away. Then Curts Grandma Pat passed away. Then Christine, my step-mom passed away on NYE. It was the year all the parents died. My heart has been broken and I understand the saying "time heals all wounds." I'm not over it bit i definitely can make it through the day without crying. 

I am now revisiting my life again. 

I'm selling knitting/crochet I make, resumed spinning yarn- was gifted a 1k spinning wheel, got a 400 sewing machine for 50. 

After a 5 month layoff with work, I'm going back tomorrow. I'm pretty excited and grateful for the time I've had to get my head sorted out. 

Our dog Emma is dying but at a much different pace that the vet told us last September. She guessed 6 months 15 months ago. It's been a blessing to be with her these past months. 

Curtis

Spending all my time focused on him and Maui. That's who I am and what I'm doing. Forgiving myself for when I'm not who I need to be. Being perfect and imperfect. Training my body and mind to be fierce. Being grateful for the little things. Giving up what is not for me. Cherishing the life and love I have created.

Ivan, Dad

My dad, Ivan. Once the greatest story teller ever. He forgets the series now. Losing his place in the sequence, it falls apart.I can feel him drifting away. In my heart,, my bones. I have pictures and memories but he is leaving behind a shell of age and I am sad. I am torn and breaking. I want to be with him every minute I can before I lose him forever. 

Pursuit of Happiness

Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin' lit, feelin' light, 2 A. M., summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel,
Drivin' drunk, I'm doin' my thing
Rollin in the Midwest side and out,
Livin' my life, getting' out dreams
People told me slow my roll,
I'm screaming out, fuck that
Imma do just what I want,
Lookin' ahead no turnin' back
If I fall, If I die,
Know I lived it to the fullest,
If I fall, if I die,
Know I lived and missed some bullets

Chorus:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine, once I get it, I'll be goooood.
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine, once I get it, I'll be goooood.

Tell me what you know about dreamin' (dreamin')
You don't really know about nothin' (nothin')
Tell me what you know about them night terrors, every night
5 A. M, cold sweats wakin' up, to the sky
Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin'
You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
Rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

Chorus:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be goooood.
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine, once I get it, I'll be goooood.

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine, once I get it, I'll be goooood.

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know,
Everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness
And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah
I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah.
I don't get it, I'll be good

Ugh.
Ah, man,
Ugh, ayite, ugh
Room's spinnin'. Room's spinnin'.
Matt... Zulie... Wait.
Oh my god why did I drink so much and slug so much?, ah
Ugh, fuck.

Snorkeling and other videos I like

Robbie's video from our 5/1/2016 snorkeling!!

https://youtu.be/tAYNrGm61rE

Paia Bay, Maui, HI

Paia Bay today. Big ocean, strong wind. Great friends.

ERIK & Brees Wedding- Visit to California

Being on Maui is fun. Visiting California is fun also! Especially for a wedding. First wedding of the year was Curtis cousins Erik and Bree's wedding on February 13, 2016. I spent a lot of my time with the bride, who seriously was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Also I spent time with my family, although there is NEVER enough time. Here's some pics from that trip, didn't capture everything because I was busy having fun.